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Road to Recovery

Mistaken Belief #1

Mistaken Belief #2

Mistaken Belief #3

Mistaken Belief #4

Mistaken Belief #5

Mistaken Belief #6

Mistaken Belief #7

Mistaken Belief #8

Mistaken Belief #9

Mistaken Belief #10

Mistaken Belief #11

Mistaken Belief #12

Mistaken Belief #13

Mistaken Belief #14

Mistaken Belief #15

Mistaken Belief #16

Mistaken Belief #17

 By: Terry Gorski with additions by: Lee Jamison

A MISTAKEN BELIEF IS SOMETHING THAT YOU BELIEVE TO BE TRUE AND ACT AS IF IT WERE TRUE WHEN, IN FACT, IT IS FALSE.

Mistaken Belief #10: The only way to stay sober is to let other people attack you and tear you down so that you will give up all of your defenses.

Fact: The fact is that once the addicted person recognizes the need for help, personal attacks and the tearing down of their defenses are going to raise stress and lower self esteem and self respect. This will reinforce the mistaken belief that the addict is a “bad” person who needs to become good through punishment, rather than a sick person who needs to learn the skills of recovery.

Self-confrontation is necessary for addicts to see the reality of their situation. This simply means to present information that one may not want to take a look at. It does not mean attacking the person’s character and tearing down self-respect. Relapse prone alcoholics and addicts are often in severe pain. If they allow themselves to be attacked and their defenses torn down this will increase their pain. They are holding on to their defenses for dear life because they have no other way to cope with the reality of their situation. Attacking these defenses creates high levels of stress. High stress causes confusion, emotional reaction or emotional numbness, or memory problems. As a result, harsh confrontation often makes the relapse prone person worse.

Relapse prone alcoholics and addicts are sick, and they need to be treated as such. The facts of their condition need to be presented to them, and they often need to be forced to make difficult decisions about seeking treatment. But once they are in treatment, confrontation should be used sparingly. It should be replaced with education, problem solving, and support. Self-confrontation is the result. Most relapse prone alcoholics and addicts respond very well to accurate information about relapse and are eager to try out relapse prevention planning techniques.

As a patient, you have rights and responsibilities for your own treatment and recovery. Allowing yourself to be degraded and humiliated is not therapeutic. It diminishes your self-esteem. It causes you to abandon your judgement and to accept without question what someone tells you. You should remember that as an addiction patient you have the same rights as other medical patients. You have the right to ask questions and to ask for a second opinion. Those rights are not relinquished by the belief that you must allow yourself to be emotionally battered and degraded to get well.