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 By: Terry Gorski with additions by: Lee Jamison

A MISTAKEN BELIEF IS SOMETHING THAT YOU BELIEVE TO BE TRUE AND ACT AS IF IT WERE TRUE WHEN, IN FACT, IT IS FALSE.

Mistaken belief #1: If you stop addictive use for a while and then begin using again, you have relapsed.

Fact: Relapse cannot occur until the addict acknowledges the presence of addictive disease, recognizes the need for total abstinence, and makes a decision to maintain sobriety with the assistance of a recovery program. Periods of abstinence before recognition of addiction are symptoms of the disease.

The basic steps in the road to sobriety form most chemically addicted people are:

1.      Unregulated drinking or using.

2.      Attempts to regulate by controlling quantity of intake or type of substance.

3.      Attempts to control by pursuing periods of abstinence with the goal of returning to use. (If I can stop on my own it proves that I don’t need stop permanently.)

4.      Making a decision to stop using but not changing your lifestyle.

5.      Making a decision to change your lifestyle and pursue a program of recovery in order to stop drinking or using completely.

Sometimes addicted persons maintain abstinence for a period of time to prove that they can stop anytime they want to. They can then resume addictive use because they have “proved” that there is no need to quit.

Many addicted people drink or use in a final effort to test their control. They lose control and they learn the final lesson: I am not a normal user, I cannot control my use. They recognize that they are addicted and have lost control of their use. This creates a conscious realization for one interpretation of the first step in AA/NA.

Sometimes addicted persons maintain sobriety because of some external pressure (job, family, legal problems) that makes continuing to use very risky even though the person does not believe that he or she is addicted. These people have not "relapsed" after these periods of abstinence because the disease is simply continuing its progression.

The consequences of believing that any return to use is a relapse is that the addicted person is defeated before they get started. They punish themselves because they have failed in their efforts to stay sober before they have actually come to an understanding of their disease. They have a sense of hopelessness believing “I have tried and failed; I cannot do it because I have failed in the past.” They do not realize that they have never had the tools to recover. The fear of failure keeps them from trying again.

This mistaken belief also causes family and friends to “give up” on the addicted person and not support them in future attempts at sobriety.