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Mistaken
Beliefs About Relapse
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By: Terry Gorski with additions by: Lee Jamison If you are recovering from
addictive disease, "relapse"
may be a frightening word. You may have "relapsed."
Undoubtedly you have been warned about the very real possibility that
it can occur. And/or you may have watched - helplessly - as others who
you care about have returned to using, perhaps never to regain sobriety
or a stable life. It is right to be concerned
about the possibility of "relapse,"
but the more that you know and understand about it the less threatening
it will be to you. There are many mistaken beliefs about what a "relapse"
is. People believe these mistaken beliefs, and, consequently, they act
as if they were true. As a result, "relapse"
prone persons are often subject to misunderstanding and unintentional
abuse from others. Many "relapse"
prone people come to believe things about themselves that are simply not
true. They punish themselves with those incorrect beliefs and make their
situations worse by self-blame. These persons make choices based on those
beliefs and sometimes the choices are destructive. Recently, a story in the news
told of a young man who killed himself because of a positive result on
an AIDS test. After his death it was discovered that the positive test
result was a mistake and he did not, after all, have the disease. His
mistaken belief caused him to make a destructive choice. We all have mistaken notions
and dangerous attitudes about many things. Mistaken beliefs about "relapse"
can have destructive consequences. The first step in preventing "relapse"
is to understand what it is and what it is not. The second step is to
challenge your own beliefs about it. If you are "relapse"
prone these mistaken beliefs can kill you by preventing you from getting
the help that you need. If
you are a counselor or an AA/NA member attempting to help a "relapse"
prone person stay sober, your mistaken beliefs can feed the "relapse
process " and push people closer to the next drink or drug, not
because you intend to but because of your misinformation. Mistaken beliefs about "relapse"
create self-fulfilling prophecies. When mistaken beliefs become "truth"
to you, you act as if those
beliefs are true. These inappropriate behaviors lead you into a "relapse
cycle " so that the mistaken belief you have becomes real. This
is what we mean by a "setup." You develop a mistaken belief;
act as if it were true; the action causes pain and problems; you start
addictive use to cope with the pain and problems. In the chemical dependency
treatment field we say that alcoholism and drug addiction are a disease.
But we do not always act as if it is. At times we become frustrated or
feel helpless when dealing with people who cannot maintain sobriety. Feeling
frightened and threatened, we often label those people "unmotivated,"
"hopeless," or "not ready to recover." What is even
more frightening is that when we fail in our own recovery programs, we
often call ourselves by those very same names. In time we come to accept
these punitive and inaccurate beliefs and act as if they were true. Mistaken Beliefs > Misdirected Actions
> Pain & Problems
> Addictive Use We would like to dispel some
of the myths and mistaken notions about "relapse"
and replace them with factual knowledge that will help you to deal more
realistically with the "relapse"
potential of addictive illness.
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